| | [How Should We Encourage Others?]
Agnes wrote:
when we encourage based on worldly standards, we say You can do it, or I believe in you. and you said that we shouldn't say that, so my question is, what alternative to you propose to encourage others in a more godly way? would you say something like, You can do it through Christ? honestly, that sounds really awkward, and maybe that’s because i'm so conformed to the world's way of encouraging people. but if saying something like "you can do it through Christ" is a more God glorifying alternative, how would you encourage non-christian friends? because encouraging christian friends with that and doing the same to non-christian friends can have totally different effects.
My response:
“You can do it!”, “I believe in you!”, and “We have to believe in ourselves!” are probably the most popular ways of getting people pumped up in our day. You hear it during almost every interview after a major sports event. Most players share that the reason why they were able to pull through and get the win was because “Coach believed in us and we believed in each other!” Ra-Ra-Ra!
Occasionally, you will hear about players attribute all glory to God and thank God, win or lose, for just giving them the opportunity to compete at such a high level. But in the eyes and ears of most people that’s just an uncool and unpopular thing to say. So not only are players pressured to stick with what the majority wants to hear (since that’s where their popularity comes from), but interviewers are pressured to interview the players who will say just the right things that will inspire their listening audience. This is an example from the sports world, but the pattern holds true in virtually all arenas of life.
What inspires Christians ought not to be self-exalting expressions that contain tiny grains of truth.
I say “tiny grains of truth” because I don’t deny that people (Christians and non-Christians) are given tremendous potential, having been made in the image of God. God made it very clear at the Tower of Babel that if people put their mind to do something, they could accomplish virtually anything. The human mind that God created is a powerful tool. To think, however, that people can accomplish anything apart from the grace of God is utter foolishness. We are not self-sustaining creatures. All of human life is sustained by the grace of God and whenever we forget that, as was the case at the Tower of Babel, God is not honored.
Self-exalting expressions may make people feel good about themselves and it even may encourage them to accomplish big things, but what should concern us is whether God is glorified in the process.
I admit that I do say things like “You can do it!” sometimes. But I normally say it to people who would know what I mean when I say it. Some know me well enough to understand that I’m not seeking to elevate them above the grace of God. So it's not that you have to tack on Christ at the end of every sentence you blurt out. What ultimately counts is the meaning behind the words you speak and whether the person you're trying to encourage actually understands what you mean. However, people who are able to interpret you correctly are hard to find and that’s why you would rarely catch me saying even the seemingly harmless, “You can do it!” It’s also because I’ve been taught by my own mentors not to get into the habit of making God a hidden assumption. If you want to honor someone at a house party, you would never stick that person in your basement corner next to the storage bins. Unfortunately, that’s sometimes what we do with God when we assume Him in our sentences.
OK. Now practically, how should you encourage people?
First, how should you encourage Christians?
Well, I don’t think this should be that hard. Fellow Christians shouldn’t think it’s weird to use the name of Christ especially in the context of encouragement. I think we should freely and boldly encourage each other via biblical truth.
Examples? Well, this could potentially sound corny, but I’m thinking of what I would say if I were given the chance to speak to one of you or even pray for one of you….
-Before a big game: “You’ve worked hard for this day, haven’t you? I think it’s cool that you get to play today. God has really blessed you with a gift and I’m glad I get to see you play. The way you honor the Lord through games like this is not necessarily through winning but through playing hard and playing with integrity. Leave the end result up to Him. Then you’ll be great.
-Big test or paper due that’s causing stress: I’d basically apply biblical wisdom here and see if studying with my friend or working together (being a study partner) would help. If my friend keeps on saying that’s he’s just too stupid to do well, I’d help him to keep his eyes off of himself (self-reliant, self-centered, self-absorbed) by reminding him of the Lord and our calling to look to Him for strength. The bottom line is that we don’t share equal intelligence with one another. But so what? Our calling is just to do our best and leave the results in God’s hand. He will use us (our intelligence etc) in the manner He chooses to. If our friends get fixated on all the wrong things, then we should do what we can to wake them up from their self-absorption.
-In the face discouragement: I have the entire Word of God as my arsenal here. Just pick a verse that has encouraged you in the past and use it with your friends to remind them of who they are in Christ. An example could be…. “________, I know you’re hurting right now and it’s probably best if I don’t say too much at this point, but I just wanted you to remember that your Father in heaven promised to never leave you nor forsake you. I know it’s hard to see right now, but He’s right here with us. He also promised that He will use whatever it takes (good and bad) to make you become more like Christ. He intends to make you more beautiful.”
Secondly, how should you encourage non-Christian friends?
I think there are always going to be a limits on what you can say.
That’s why friendships with non-Christians will tend to be much shallower, unless you have non-Christian friends that genuinely want to hear what you have to say on any given issue. I had a couple of friends like that in the past. They actually didn’t want me to sugar coat my words in front of them. They gave me permission to speak honestly and freely in front of them. That would occasionally lead to some heated debates, but that’s what the nature of our friendship was based on—honesty. Why settle for anything less? In public, you might have to, at times, tone down on the Christian lingo, but with your friends I think you should be able to speak truthfully in front of them. Our ultimate goal shouldn’t be to encourage people. Rather, it should be to lead people to Christ and share His truth with them. So yes, your sharing might have totally different effects. Of course it will.
pjb
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| | Posted 9/25/2006 11:09 PM - 16 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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